Staind Life: Fade
by Angel Arielle
Summary: Draco takes a trip to Azkaban Prison. song fic. Implied Dramione


Draco Malfoy had just arrived on a tiny island in the middle of the North Sea. Many wizards, if asked, would say the island was the most dreadful place on earth. A poor assumption for such a small island? No, even the dumbest of wizards knew the little island was a place no one would ever wish to inhabit. For, on the tiny island stood a tall foreboding structure known only as Azkaban Prison. A place most criminals and murderers called home. It was a place for Death Eaters and death itself.

Draco had been to the prison numerous times before. It always had the same outcome. He would leave feeling empty, yet still having so much to say. Today would be different. Today he would place all his cards on the table, so to speak. Today would be his last visit to the ghastly place.

Draco paused at the bottom of the steep steps that would lead to the entrance of the prison. He looked up to the overcast sky. It was raining hard. Suddenly there was a flash of lightening and the sky momentarily lit up. Even through the heavy downpour, he could see dark shadows circling the building. A shiver ran down his spine and it wasn't because of the freezing weather. He could already feel the effects of the Dementors.

_I try to breathe_

_Memories overtaking me_

Memories started to rush back to him. Ill thoughts and feelings flashed in his mind. He remembered the war. He remembered standing in front of Albus Dumbledore, ready to kill him. Then the Headmasters features changed and suddenly he was stood before Charity Burbage. She was being devoured by Nagini.

_I try to face them but_

_The thought is too_

_Much to conceive_

He tried to push the thoughts out of his head. He knew it was only the work of the Dementors, forcing him to relive the recollections. It was no use. The snake then started to regurgitate the former Muggle Studies teacher, only it was another witch that exited the mouth of the reptile. Hermione Granger was now crouched on the floor. His Aunt Bellatrix was performing the Cruciatus curse on the girl. Hermione screamed. Draco's eyes sprung open as a loud clap of thunder echoed through the dark sky. He silently thanked the storm for breaking his chain of thoughts.

A short, fat, balding wizard guard appeared in the archway at the top of the stone steps.

"Good evening Mr. Malfoy," he greeted. Draco nodded and climbed the steps following the guard through the heavy metal doors.

"Would you like to warm yourself by the fire before you go up Mr. Malfoy?" the guard asked.

"No," he said shaking his head, "I want to get this over and done with."

"That's quite understandable. Follow me please."

The wizard guard lead him up a stone spiral staircase. As they climbed the stairs, Draco began to feel claustrophobic. He had taken this route many times before but today it felt like time wasn't passing. He had a feeling of dread. There were no windows and the only light came from the tip of the guards wand. It took them several minutes to reach the top but they finally reached a landing. There were three doorways. Draco started towards the usual passage to his left but stopped when the guard grabbed his shoulder.

"Not that way. They move them when they've received the Dementors Kiss. Straight ahead now, Sir."

The guard pushed the old oak door in front of him and it creaked. The corridor ahead was small and damp. It was lit only by lamps. Draco trailed the guard down the long passageway. He could hear a whistled tune coming from up ahead.

"Stand back against the wall please Mr. Malfoy," the guard requested.

Another guard walked towards them. He was the complete opposite to the guard with Draco. He had long dark hair tied loosely. He was tall and skinny and could not have been much older than Draco was. A large white cloth floated behind him.

"Alright Jed? Lost another one have we?" the guard with Draco asked.

"Evenin' Rowland. Yeah, we 'ave. He was a strong bugger though. Lasted a whole two weeks he did. We had a prisoner jump last night too. Left a nasty stain did that one. Alright Mr. Malfoy?" Jed greeted, "Well, I best be off. Things to do, bodies to burn."

Jed chuckled as he passed Draco and Rowland. The bulging white cloth floating behind him. A strong smell of rotting flesh filled the air and he gagged. An arm was hanging just below the cloth. Draco stared wide eyed at the tattoo on the limp limb. The Dark Mark. He rubbed his own forearm, trying to remember that was not who he was anymore. He wasn't his Father.

_I only know that I can change_

_Everything else just stays the same_

_So now I step out of the darkness_

_That my life became _

Life had changed dramatically for Draco during the war. He had come to realise that he couldn't change the world. Voldermort could never succeed. There would always be good wizards in the world. He knew in order to survive; he would have to adapt. He had turned his back on his family, his friends and most importantly the Dark Lord. It was a Muggleborn who had helped him make his decision. She had shown him that there was always at least two paths he could follow, that there was always another way out. Draco shook his head. He couldn't think of her now. He couldn't feed the Dementors with his happy thoughts.

The guard ushered him on. They passed a few open doorways before coming to a closed one.

"Here we are," said Rowland gesturing towards the door marked thirty-four, "I'll wait out here."

Draco pushed the door handle and entered the room. The cell was darker than the passageway behind him. He paused in the entrance allowing his eyes to adjust to the candlelit room. A crouched figure came into view. It was a man with dirty white blond hair, hollow cheeks and empty grey eyes.

"Good Evening Father," Draco sighed.

Lucius made no movement to show he had heard his son. Draco had been informed it would be this way but he had always been suspicious of his father. He had to make sure he hadn't influenced the guards or even the Dementors with his false promises. After all, he had once been inline with the Dark Lord whose followers included Dementors. With this in mind, he walked towards his father and kicked him hard. Still the man before him did not move. He didn't even flinch.

"So it's true then," Draco smirked, "You finally got what you deserve."

Draco crouched down in front of Lucius. He pushed a strand of his fathers' greasy white hair behind his ear and looked him directly in the eye.

"You're probably wondering why I'm here. Well let me get comfortable before I enlighten you," he said before sitting with his back to the wall opposite his father.

"I'm here to tell you what I really think of you. All those times I have visited you, I never got to tell you what was going through my head. Mother wouldn't allow it of course. But she's not here to defend your actions now is she?" he laughed, "I don't understand how she can still love you after all you did. Even without Voldermort, you were still a bastard. All those times you beat me, told me I wasn't good enough, that I was worthless. Sure, you bought us nice things, but it was all just for show. You couldn't have people thinking we weren't the picture perfect Pureblood family."

_I just needed someone to talk to _

_You were just too busy with yourself_

"You were always too concerned with what the Dark Lord thought of you. Always too busy with his needs rather than those of your own family."

_You were never there for me to_

_Express how I felt_

_I just stuffed it down_

"I always looked up to you. Always did what you asked of me without question I tried to tell you how I felt. I told you I didn't want to be a murderer. But you just beat me and told me I was weak," he seethed, "I almost killed Dumbledore to save your reputation. To save your life. That's when I realised you didn't truly care about me. How could you have allowed a child to kill?"

_Now I'm older and I feel like_

_I could let some of this anger fade_

"I know you cared at one point. Mother told me you looked for me during the war at Hogwarts. Did you finally realise the Dark Lord was going to fall? Did you think you could come running back and have everything the way it was?" he knew Lucius couldn't answer him. In truth, he knew the answers to his questions.

_But it seems the surface_

_I am scratching_

_Is the bed that I have made_

"You wanna know why I'm really here?" he asked sighing and looked to the floor, "I'm here to forgive you. To thank you even. I have a new life now, and a new outlook to go with it. I'm engaged. I never told you before in fear of what you would do. You see, I turned my back on you and your precious Dark Lord way back in my sixth year at Hogwarts. I developed a crush…on a Muggleborn. A Muggleborn by the name of Hermione Granger."

Draco looked up at him for any inclination that his father had heard him. Lucius' eyes were closed. Draco stretched his leg out and kicked him. His eyes slowly opened but he showed no other sign of movement.

"I'm sure you remember her. After all, she was the reason for so many of my beatings. You couldn't believe a filthy Mudblood could be smarter than your Pureblood son," he spat.

"But she was," he smiled now, "It all started with enchanted mistletoe. The crush soon developed into something more. Into love. I couldn't tell her, you would have punished me and killed her if you had found out. I think she knew though. I stopped being cruel to her. I wasn't civil to her either; I just ignored her, stealing glances when I thought she wasn't looking. Then we had an interesting potions lesson together. She never knew but she kept me sane that year at Hogwarts. However, it wasn't until the war that I revealed my true feelings towards her. I saved her from a killing curse. I almost got myself killed to protect her."

_So where were you_

_When all this I was going through_

"Actually, I think what really made me realise I liked her was you. As strange as that sounds. You were such a bastard to me. I wondered what I had done to deserve a father like you, and it suddenly hit me. I had been so stupid. I had no say in who I was born to. You certainly wouldn't have been my father if I had. And so, it got me thinking. What right did I have to judge a Muggleborn? You can't choose your parents. Hermione couldn't choose her parents either. And she still had one over on me," he chuckled, "You see her parents actually gave a damn about her. Muggles capable of love, who would have thought it hey father?"

Draco laughed and stood up. He began to pace the small cell.

_You never took the time to ask me_

_Just what you could do _

"I wanted you to join the light you know. I knew Voldermort would fall. You would have disowned me if I had told you. Looking back, I wish I had. I guess I thought you would come to your senses," he laughed, "I thought you would listen to me. Especially when he let you rot in here for a year before coming to your rescue. I guess you and him were more alike than I first thought. He only cared about his own ideals as well. I could have helped you. If you had listened to me you wouldn't be here now."

Draco crouched down to look his father in the face again.

_I only know that I can change_

_Everything else just stays the same_

_So now I step out of the darkness_

_That my life became_

"I'm done with being your shadow. I won't waste my life like you have. I'm going to look after my wife and children. I'm going to be a good husband and a good father, something you never were. It took me a long time to realise but life isn't about blood status, it's about spending what little time you have with the ones you love. I did love you father, despite all your faults. That's why I forgive you. Because you gave me life. And without life I wouldn't be marrying Hermione Granger, and she wouldn't be pregnant with my child."

_Now I'm older and I feel like_

_I could let some of this anger fade_

_But it seems the surface_

_I am scratching_

_Is the bed that I have made_

Draco lifted a hand and rested it on his fathers shoulder.

"You helped me to become the man you never were. Goodbye father. I hope you find peace," he said as a lone tear escaped his grey eye and ran down his pale cheek. He stood and walked from the tiny cell leaving Lucius as he had found him.

_But I never meant to fade away_

_I never meant to fade_

It isn't known to living wizards, but when you receive the Dementors kiss, although you appear to be in a comatose state, you can hear, see and think perfectly well. Perhaps this was the reason why Lucius himself had tears in his eyes. He had lost his son, his wife and even the opportunity to be a grandfather. The Dementors hadn't taken his soul that night. They had taken his hope. He had sold his soul a long time ago.

_I try to breathe_

Rowland and Jed would have another body that night. Lucius would finally give up the fight. Much to Jed's disappointment. He had bet ten Galleons that he would last at least three weeks. But how can you live when you have lost everything you ever lived for.

DMHGDMHGDMHGDMHGDMHGDMHGDMHGDMHG

Song is 'Fade' by Staind


End file.
